FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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