you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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