i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize