There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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