dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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