Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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