just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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