On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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