nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize