His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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