So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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