My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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