She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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