Welp...herpes.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
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We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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