i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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