i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize