i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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