I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my shit smells like andre
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize