I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize