So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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