don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When are your genitals available?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize