Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize