im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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