Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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