fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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