I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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