she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize