just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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