Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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