I'm drive I can fine osifer
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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