is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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