I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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