u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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