it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize