The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize