If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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