i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Did I show you my penis last night?
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just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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