I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
420 ftw
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize