Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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