TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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