hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize