So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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