i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
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I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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