I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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