just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize