seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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