Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize