Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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