At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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