So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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